Living Together, Today

Carving out nonpolitical space in our lives and communities

I voted early this morning and then went for a walk at the nature park on the way to work. It was an absolutely glorious and unseasonably warm day in upstate NY and I passed a number of people on the trails. Given the makeup of the town where the park is located it was probably about a 50/50 mix of Trump and Harris supporters, but I really had no idea and it didn’t matter.

None of us interacted much other than a comment or two on the beauty of the day. We were just sharing a glorious morning walk, mostly in passing.

While we laud the benefits of democracy, we probably need less democracy, not more. Particularly right now.

The political theorist Robert Talisse argues this in his book Overdoing Democracy. It’s not that democracy is bad or that another political system is better. But when we politicize every aspect of human life, we trigger tribal impulses that undermine other important non-political parts of our lives. We need more non-political spaces. And we need to recognize them for what they are when we’re in them.

Let’s be clear. It's not about avoiding politics. It's not about ignoring the impact of politics people's lives. And it's not about pretending that this election doesn't have massive implications for everything from foreign policy to rule of law.

But in the end, we will need to find a way to live together, no matter what the outcome of this election or any other. And the best way to do that is to make politics less important moving forward, not more. At the very least, we need to work to rediscover non-political spaces where we can connect apart from tribal party identities.

Decenter Politics to Find Nonzero Solutions

I've talked a lot about how when we think in political and partisan terms it creates a zero sum kind of game instead of a non-zero game.

While we wait to see what tomorrow will look like, we should also think about opportunities to be in community with other people where politics is totally irrelevant. There are lots of options: take a walk in a park on a beautiful day, attend a science lecture at a nature center, go grocery shopping (and be kind to the checkout person), hit up an art museum, join a sports league or go to a bingo game or a class at the Y.

Even more powerfully, find activities where you can build things with people where politics is irrelevant: spend time on a Habitat for Humanity Build, do some trail clean up at a local park, look into AmeriCorps or other volunteer opportunities. Band together with your neighbors of all political stripes to address traffic issues in your area, volunteer at your local food pantry, or sort donations for your local PTSA sale.

We have all of these spaces in the world where politics is not relevant. In fact, most of our shared world is not political. We make a profound and damaging mistake when we bring politics into these spaces.

This isn’t sticking our heads in the sand or avoiding the important issues. It’s about de-centering politics to avoid triggering the worst in human nature. And it’s about providing a space where we might connect long enough to find solutions to problems that the political process overlooks.

Civil Discourse and Civil Silence

Talisse’s most recent book is Civic Solitude and I got to hear him talk about it in a recent depolarization working group meeting. As I remembered his takeaway, my walk took on a more profound meaning.

His work has a profound point: we liberal democrats often spend so much time talking and so much time discoursing that we don't actually give ourselves space for the deliberation and the solitude that we need. Time and solitude to think about our own values and identities as separate from the political and polarized identities that are so highly salient right now.

I recently wrote about the importance of listening in civil discourse, but living together in a liberal democratic society is much more than just listening and then speaking. It’s listening, speaking, reflecting (on one’s own values as well as those of others), deliberating, acting and then doing the same thing over and over again.

Liberal democracy isn’t a linear process or a specific outcome. It’s a series of endless feedback loops that help us understand how to live together. And because living together never ends, the feedback loops don’t end either.

Living Together (Again)

Since many people I know are chewing their nails off this evening, here are a couple things you can think about doing this week that might help you find some minimal peace.

First, find some time to be silent and alone. Whether that's out in nature or just spending some time quietly sitting at your desk, unplug completely.

Second, make a list of ways to be in community with other people this week that have nothing to do with politics. Election watch parties have their place, but we also need to find time to be with and around other people in ways that are totally separable from partisan politics and election outcomes. After all, elections are just discrete points in time. What really matters is how we live together in between.

We will need a lot more of both quiet deliberation and non-political community over the next two months. Whatever the outcome of this election we are going to have to live together. Today is just as good a day as any to start getting better at it.

How are you thinking about politics right now? What kinds of activities do you have planned for today? As always, let me know what you think! Leave a comment, subscribe, and share.